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» Bigassmagnet: Aliens Find Out That Humans Can Die If They Drink Too Much Wateraliens Know Humans Habitually Do Things That Can Kill Them “For Fun”Aliens Begin Obsessively Monitoring The Human Crewmate’s Water Consumption“Ensign Cooper, Stop!

» Transformative-Rimming: Please Come To Brazil

» I-Am-A-Fish: Earthdad: I-Am-A-Fish: @Earthdad ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Howdy Hello Young Man! You Are A Good Dad. That’s All I Wanted To Say.

» Slimetony: I Have The Power To Shrink My Body But It Would Also Shrink My Brain Proportionately And It Would Make Me To Dumb To Get Big So Ive Never Done It

» Punkfaery: Paul Hollywood On Bakeoff: Now, I Can See You’ve Had A Little Trouble With Your Genoise Sponge, Haven’t You? The Egg Whites Haven’t Been Whipped For Quite Long Enough, And It’s Lost Some Of That Delicate, Airy Consistency, Which Means

» Fuckbangovers: So At My House We Have An Intercom In Everyone’s Room And When You Press “Talk” And Speak Into It Everyone Can Hear What You Say So Last Night At Like 1 Am I Spoke Into It And Quietly Whispered “Shia Labeouf“ I Heard My Mom

» Yourownpetard: Tastefullyoffensive: (Via Jrauser / Addiktiopsy) Hold On, So You Can Be Bad Fairly Safely At The Beginning Of The Year?

» Rockyrocksrox: Oh My God I Really Hope Y'all Know What’s Going On Here

» Orsino: Thecrimsonnutcase: I Can’t Believe I Just Witnessed Luke Skywalker Annihilate The Zodiac Killer With My Own Two Eyes. Holy Fuck He Really Said This

» I-Am-A-Fish: I-Am-A-Fish: I-Am-A-Fish: Santa Claus Is Santa Claus Is Gonna Fuck Santa Claus Is Gonna Bring You Some Fucking Presents This Christmas.

» Home For Christmas

» Spidermanlet: Spidermanlet: Not To Toot My Own Horn But I Just Took A Test That Said I Have A 300 Iq Lol…

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